Weights of Grace and Forgiveness

Working just one day in a school building you will see things that you will never forget. Any given day is a mixed bag of people, experiences, and moments that are will stay with you for a lifetime. Any of these days require grace and a ton of forgiveness. Grace, healing power, and forgiveness are supposed to be freeing agents. They the connection between God and the people He made, they are what keep us bonded to Him. We are called to distribute both as God has, but at times I am not sure that we truly understand how to execute this. A lot of times we don't even want to try. Some people may ask me how could I say that grace is heavy? If it is supposed to set us free how can we feel it so heavily? For me, the weight is involved with my reactions to people in the schools and the things I see and feel. For me, grace is heavy because I have to ask for so much if it. Forgiveness is equally heavy as well as I like to hold on to it. It is never given without some personal cost. Each time we go through the process we have to give something to go through it well. 

There are many situations that take place in schools daily that you think you will only read about.  Kids bully each other. Things just happen as the kids are growing. They are constantly bumping into each other, getting in trouble as they learn to follow rules, those things are in a days' work. There are other things though that one should never see, we see it daily. You will see parents who are willing to bully their children in front of the staff. " I just don't want to deal with you and your bulls#it today!" causing the child to feel like they are a thing, an object of misery in their parent's lives. " If you could just sit still like your sister!" (ha you'll never be as good as she is!") or "You ..............." just fill in the blanks because somethings you can't put down in print. My mind is filled with sadness and anger. I want to lash out and ask them if they are proud of their bullying skills and if they plan to invest in the counseling their child will need to heal from it? I need the grace to overcome my sarcasm and desire to scream at them.

I see other parents daily with students with disabilities that have no desire to help their children break free from what is holding them back. Instead, they teach the child to use their disability like a badge for bad behavior passes or a license to bully staff members. I see other parents that can barely care for themselves. They want to do what is right, yet they have not got the tools to care for themselves, let alone their children. There those who are at times overly proud and refuse to use the services the schools offer and connect with. I want to shout "We're here to help! Why won't you work with us, rather than against?" I have to forgive and recognize my own pride aches at being turned away from the healing process.  Jesus also commanded us to love our enemies, loving them often involves educating and teaching those who resist breaking the cycles of life they have learned the hard way.

I see teachers who are loving and caring people hanging on by a thread because they can't reach some students and others that need their time are blocked from it. I see people who are talented that feel like a failure in spite of their magnificent giftedness because they just can't get through a day in class without major disruptions from students and the hours of testing they have to put up with. This grace is heavy because I have to accept that it is God's own hands that must carry them. I have only two hands and very few real hours to support them. 

My coming to care challenge today is "How do I let go of those weights, without becoming apathetic to the situations?"

"How do I empower others?"

"How do I show others this grace while letting them keep their dignity?"

Last but not least, "How do I go to work each day without wrapping myself in bubble wrap, putting on a plastic helmet, and eating ice cream by the quart in the teachers' lounge while sobbing?" 

Only God knows.

Their Eyes See Everything, Teachers and the Kingdom of God

Jesus said that our children own the kingdom of heaven. I think it is because of what they haven't leaned and the potential that they have to learn everything. What do you do though when you can't teach a child anything because they are suffering? What do you do when the conditions in the classrooms and the lives our young students are so broken down you just hope to get through the day? When you are a teacher or educator you can do anything but look away.  Teachers are servant ministers engaging in a higher calling that we have failed to recognize.

In society, so often it is easier to look away when something makes us uncomfortable. When someone is underdressed, underfed, smelly, sick and neglected in public most people just look away. Teachers see kids like this every day.  They cannot close their eyes to those students who are suffering. Those eyes have been trained to see. Their hearts naturally feel as ministers of our children they feel deeply. How I wish the eyes of others would be opened to the suffering of our children and their caregivers during the school day. Teachers see with the eyes of the Spirit. They see people who long to made whole and accepted. People who have potential and an open book of life before them.

I remember when my kids were old enough to begin washing dishes and laundry. I told my husband, I love them, but I don't want them to be dependent on me for everything so they must learn! I tried to give them every tool I had to create independence for life.  Independence is one thing, neglect is another. I wanted my kids to stand on their own two feet but never ever stand alone.

 Awaken your eyes to the sounds of those around you are vulnerable and have no voice. Do not turn away from those who are crying out to you even though there are no tears left to cry with.
Neglect is 100% an ugly animal that exists in our school children's everyday lives. In just a few days I have seen neglect so obvious that I wonder how my teachers are able to get out of bed each day and uphold the duties of teaching.  Being immersed in pain that been inflicted by uncaring people on their students, how can they teach after seeing so much? Somehow they do, gifted as they are but it comes with a great personal cost.

The student who must learn in order to "be something" is tired, hungry, cold, unbathed, teased because of conditions outside of their control.  They are expected to produce work to show what they know, yet stress and worry leave so little room in their heads for textbook learning. The teacher who must teach in spite of worry, a broken heart, and anger when they have the courage to confront these things, they must still teach. It robs so many of the moments that they needed for positivity. Students who are not neglected suffer because of the difficulty making relationships with the ones who suffer is tough. It is hard to be friends with kids who don't have the tools to be social or conditions that are easy to cope with. Regardless of where you are in the classroom, the teachers see them all.

We need to be ever ready to help our teachers. We need to bring blessings to them.  They are the hands and feet of Jesus during the day as servant ministers of knowledge. If children own the kingdom and teachers are giving them the building blocks for it they should be the highest on our list of who to help.

From Doctrine and Covenants 162:6a. From the earliest days, you have been given a sacred principle that declares the inestimable worth of all persons. Do not forget. 

b. The One who created all humankind grieves at the shameful divisions within the human family. A prophetic people must work tirelessly to tear down walls of separation and to build bridges of understanding. 

c. You hold precious lives in your hands. Be gentle and gracious with one another. A community is no stronger than the weakest within it. Even as the One you follow reached out to those who were rejected and marginalized, so must the community that bears his name. 

School houses are nations in the kingdom of God all of their own that suffer from the human divisions. Prayers are great and appreciated, but breathing bodies that care are needed just as much. Teachers are vessels of blessings that long to be poured out into cups that can overflow. It's just that when all of the energies are based on just getting through everything, the contents become splashed all over. Some cups are filled and others are completely empty. It is a difficult thing to be so full of servant desires with hopes and dreams but to also be immeshed in the forefront of human suffering. It creates sorrow in ways that cannot be expressed.

Teachers, I know that the time is here when you are just hanging on to your sanity. Many of your kids have been neglected and it is the worst feeling in the world to try to teach and heal at the same time. I am no real teacher, just a lady who had enough credits to be a sub. If there is nothing more I can do, I will be a voice, I will stand up for you. I will recognize the powerful ministry that you give.


To our community, it is time for us to put our best foot forward and empower the people that are building our kingdom so diligently. The time is now. Will you join your teachers and help? Will you help build the kingdom in this way? If anything will you hug your teachers and love them? Will you offer support to them as they care for our kids?

Thanking Mr. Marcy

When I started this blog it was because my son was being bullied at school. I was at my witts end and my son was entertaining thoughts of suicide. Meetings with teachers, parents, and social workers were taking place all the time. Strategies were being implemented but none were really having an effect because parents of other children refused to take responsibility for their children and even more important, they refused to make their children take responsibility for their actions. Mr. Marcy was as distraught as I was at my son's suffering and the apathy that other people had displayed in meetings. How could anyone not care that their children were inflicting harm to a student with disabilities? Through the whole process, I remember Mr. Marcy's genuine love and care for not only my son but my entire family.

I remember the sadness in Mr. Marcy's eyes as we determined that my son would be better off being homeschooled the last few months of 6th grade. Now that I am a public school employee, I realize the depth of caring that he had for my son. Genuine love is visible in a principal's face.  There was nothing more to be done. The reality of my son being a danger to himself and others was growing, and a violent outburst after being trapped by three students had finally taken place. I believe Mr. Marcy was genuinely sad when my son walked out the doors for the last time. 

5 months later my son started 7th grade. 13 months later we bought a new home and moved to Mayville schools. Six years passed. We never had the chance to follow up or express in depth our gratitude for all the things that Mr. Marcy tried to do during the last few years our son was at Central. What I never had the chance to say was "Thank you for believing in James, and for loving him enough to try to help".

Life can carry us so many places. Last year my now not so little boy, at six feet five inches, graduated from an alternative ed program. I started subbing in Tuscola County for teachers and my son decided that he wanted to be a substitute paraprofessional. His experiences with learning difficulties and physical difficulties have made him a class "A" parapro. Mr. Marcy now works in our local district. My son and I were working one day when he saw James with a badge and stopped to ask if he was really seeing "his James". There was pride there and a few short hellos before James had to get back to work. I made sure that this time those words didn't get away. I'll say them again here. "Thank you, Mr. Marcy, for all that you have done. Thank you for being genuinely concerned about your students, and for the blessings, you have brought to your students by just being you".

Amen.