Lingua Franca

As a child, my first experiences with languages began at an event called World Conference. World Conference is the gathering of my faith community that brings people from all over the world to gather in worship and business meetings, to decide church policy. Many events take place at each Conference, so may that you cannot do everything there is to do at each conference. Many events over lap each other, so each conference is a new experience. One of the most joyful things about the conference, is the many people from far and wide who gather. People from Africa, Asia, South America, Canada and Mexico, Middle America, Australia, the Islands of the Pacific, and Europe, are present. They share their culture, worship expressions, and love.

The church has many people who volunteer their time and energy to provide materials in many languages, so that everyone has an opportunity to participate with equal understanding. Many of our hymns are printed in multiple languages. I cannot describe the feeling of five thousand people singing in nine or more languages at once. It is as if the heavens open, and the Angels have joined in. My thoughts today about conference are in preparation for the next conference. It is in April of 2013. Through facebook I have "cyber met" many of my church's members since the last conference. There are so many old friends I long to see, and so many new ones I wish to meet.

Part of my spiritual gifts lie in the ability to speak languages with out an accent very quickly. In a few hours I can learn to "meet and greet" if I listen long enough. I am thankful for this, because it helps me to share about the love of God, and his Son. Being able to greet someone, and acknowledge them, is the very first way that we can provide ministry to those we meet. At this time I can greet in French, Spanish, Portuguese, Afrikaans, Swahili, Turkish,Italian Japanese, Chinese, Tagalog, German, Dutch, Norwegian, Indonesian and Tahitian. I can speak French, and Indonesian fairly well for traveling, but not fluently. I am learning Spanish and Portuguese gradually. I hope that eventually my feet will be upon the sands of the countries that these languages come from. This fall I am going to Brazil with some of my church family from Michigan. It seems so far away, yet so unbelievably close. I know that one thing is for sure, the common language, or lingua franca, is love. We care for each other and pray for each other often. Just by smiling and acknowledging each other we have left the door open for growth and understanding. All people can seem to understand feelings of warmth and love.

There are two people whom I have come to look up to as worldwide mentors. Joey and Art. They to have the the gift of greeting and languages. Theirs is much more tuned and proficient, but they use those gifts in humility and with grace. I first met Joey when I was fourteen. His mother and father hosted me for two conferences. The second conference I stayed with his family followed the tragic suicide of my dear friend. Joey's laughs and smiles helped me to get back to my language study in French I had neglected in grief. The young man who died was my language partner at school. We were in independent studies. Art is a Seventy, or a minister who shares about the peace of Jesus. He also recognises giftedness in others and helps congregations in South America to plant and grow. He is always sharing about his travels, and bringing us one step closer to each other through his posts of facebook. I am thankful everyday that Art and Joey are so talented.

So today I challenge you to do something new, maybe even difficult. Find a program that teaches languages. Don't try to be fluent over night. Instead, learn hello, and maybe good bye. One word, one day at a time, opens us up to greater possibility in sharing the lingua franca we live for, LOVE.

Why Worry About Worship?

             Sometimes our lives become repititious. We get up, have coffee, go to work, come home, eat dinner, television, televison, bed. Tomorrow same thing. When in church, worship should be a balance between expectation, and the un expected.. meaning allowng God to say what he wants to say, versus our own forced perception of His messages. I have learned from my friend Tim that preparing for a service is what makes the presider "tune in". In many congregations, and many faith communities we have become used to our worship formats. This is good for new comers in some ways. Routines can give comfort. Never trying new worship avenues however, is not healthy. As our congregations grow, we need to try to experince God in different settings. Sometimes simple things such as moving the candle lighting before the offering, or having prayer requests after the invocation, can be the breath of fresh air we need. We don't have to toss all traditions out to experience new things in worship. Coming to care about our worship is an essential part of healthy congregational life.

                 To often when we get entrenched in a routine, we let our preparation go. This is a result of knowing each part of the service before we open the bulliten every Sunday. We also need to look deeper into our congregation's wealth of talents! There are many people who sit Sunday after Sunday wondering if they mean anything to their congregation. This is particularly true in larger congregations, where there are many preisthood memebers, and many members who don't get to use their ministry often. Yes I said member, and ministry. Members have a unique ministry in inviatation, and service to one another. Having a good discussion with the speaker can help you know what kind of servcie format will best work with the message. Having a few weeks worth of past bullitens can also tell you who may, or may not, be participating in worship. If someone doesn't want to do what we ask, I always follow with " no problem, is there something you might like to do?", it opens the door for future sharing, rather than slam it shut.

          My friend Tim and I did a contemproary program for a year. Although we used a particular form of preaching called "lessage" or lesson-meesage, the service formats were built around the various talents of the group. Tim built in scripture and video combonations, and some Sundays he used simple slides to display the worship's flow. Without many hours of work though, we could have fell into what some church folks jokingly call a "hymn sandwich".  I want to recognise that many congregations are small, some people are so burned out, routine is all we can do. I offer this advice out of the love of my heart. Borrow away! Have guest speakers, guest presiders, and guest piano players. In our faith community We are not alone. There is a helping hand from ministers in larger congregations who wait to help you. For those who have free time they wish to fill, call other pastors who are close, and lend a hand. The work of worship can be tiring, but preparation, planning, and sharing our gifts can be just the blessing you and your congregation have been waiting for!

How I came to care about my prayers... For Momella with Love

As a child my summer time was dedicated to two things, weeding the garden, and church camp. For one glorious week out the year my family packed up and headed to Lexington Mi, for a week of fun and fellowship. Our faith community has congregations all over the world. Michigan has a very large cluster of congregations, and camp grounds. The summer I went to seventh grade, there were just not many junior high kids. A large cluster of youth had gone on to Sr. High. In those days we were organized in to districts, and the Eastern Mi. district had been struggling. People were moving to Flint and Saginaw for jobs at General Motors. Family camp numbers had dwindled as well. There was just me and two other kids that year in class. By the end of camp it was only me, and I was secretly glad.

That summer will always be special to me though in many ways. I met the woman who would become my “God Mother”. This title is one I have given her myself, as my faith community doesn’t practice the charge of two people over your spiritual life; instead we are all accountable for each of the sheep. “Momella” as I call her is just special to me.  She would teach me about prayer, and the ways God can truly change your life.

In my class we were learning about prayer. There is a method that is suggested in scripture, it goes like this. Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication. This is also known as the ACTS prayer. Momella also teaches journaling, and listening to God. She asked us to write our prayers with the above method. It took a long time for me to understand why the order means something. I came to understand that part of prayer blessings lies in gratitude. So many times we are caught in a loop of negativity, because we do not adore creation and the things God has given us. We center our thoughts around what we are missing, and forget that confession is not designed to make us guilty, but sets us free. We forget to say “thank you! Lord!”, beyond the moments of relief from a situation. Think along with me please, I am talking about the last time you found twenty bucks you thought you lost, or the files from work you thought you erased. Supplication, or asking, seems to be the first thing we run to! “Please Lord I have screwed up! Help me! I bounced my check, I lost my keys, my kids are puking I am running late, and so on.” I have learned though that those prayers on my behalf are empty feeling, when I forget to express my thankfulness and adoration regularly. God still blesses me, but I don’t feel good about my prayer life. I have learned even in a dire moment, to slow down, and carefully chose my words. Sometimes those words are simply “Lord, you already know, Thank you for being right here”.

Momella in more recent years has prayed for me in sacrament, anointing my head with oil and praying for my health, finances, and service to the church. She has prayed for my family and children. The difference now, is that I pray for her as well. I also have met her sister kind of like my “Äuntella”, who prays with me, and for me also. They make me laugh, and even cry when I need to.  The comfort of this kind of prayer has changed my life. I must confess though, I no longer journal between myself and God. Now I pray, and tell the world about God on a regular basis. With such strong supporters and great teachers, I cannot keep silent. I want the world to find their loving “ellas” and find the hope I have found in praying.

Pet Peeve! Negative "About the Spouse Talk"..........

                     One of my biggest pet peeves has to do with casual negative "about the spouse" conversation. I have the most wonderful spouse. He cooks, cleans, works at his job, and helps me with my ministry. No he is not Superman, he doesn't fly, he doesn't leap tall buildings, but he can fix just about anything. Many people have a spouse like that. The only problem is no one knows it. The reason lies in the way we have become a society of casual put downers. For many the spouse may have left panty hose in the shower, pop cans on the counter or the garage door may have been left gaping open. The focus at lunch, or the water cooler, is about the little things that don't really matter. My Grandma Jean used to tell people "Don't sweat the small fries".. I have used that advice in my marriage. I could choose to fly off about my husband's lack of discernment where the laundry pail is, or the fact that he doesn't do pots and pans beyond a venison cooking emergency. Instead I want to tell my friends that he works really hard, and really late. Sometimes he is so tired, he can only peal his clothing off at the foot of the bed and sleep.

                          Michigan has had abit of a lousy winter for snow, but we had cold days. My kids and I split, stacked, and chopped enough fire wood for a small country. I couldn't bear the thoughts of my husband coming home to a job like fire wood, after a long day at work. He goes to homes for each job as a paid television installer. Some of his clients are nuts, others leave huge messes in their homes that make his job awful.To me the laundry on the floor is a sign of his hard work, and not a lack of caring. I want people to consider the eyes they use to look on their spouses with. I always tell gossiping ladies that they are the best or worst mirror of their spouse. If they spew garbadge about him all day long, her friends will think he is garbadge too. I tell husbands who are nasty about wives that because of their words, others think she is nasty too, and by the way why did he choose a "nasty woman" as the mother of his children? I just want people to come to care about they way they speak about their spouse, and remember that marriage is a life long covenant. I know that we all have fights, and things that we disagree with our spouse over. I am not suggesting being sickenly sweet about things either. I am suggesting though, when we have something to say about the one we love, we say it to those who know them best. I always tell my sisters what is happening if I need to vent. The reason why is they love my husband like a brother. They think he can move mountains, and he puts up with me............

What's in My Words?

         My kids often ask me to referee the latest debate they may be having. Both are speaking loudly, trying to be heard. While they both assume they are right, and sometimes are both wrong, I have discovered that telling your kids you don't care is a mistake. How often have we been cornered by our squabbling children when we are trying to work? When we feel the case has been made for the situation, and we have said all we want to say, how often do we shout "Okay! I don't care!,"or "Fine whatever!" I have learned that telling your child you don't care is a very bad thing. What it often says to the child is "I don't care about you", even if we don't intend to say it in that context.

          I have learned that the most stress relieving thing for my kids is to acknowledge the issue at hand. One example is the drama at my house over video games. It is the debutante of "empty time" dancing at home. Her card for the next dance is always full. I started to think one day about the length of time my kids spent trying to get through arguments about whose turn it was. After the argument was laid in my lap, I would state what I thought the solution was, put my motherly foot down, and hope my judgement would stand. We know though, that kids often test our judgements. We say "I said this, do as I say, if you don't like it, I don't care!" I don't care often follows the rebuttal to the parental judgement. I have learned to try to omit this from my list of motherly phrases, mostly because it is anything but motherly. I care for my husband and children more than anything in this world. Kids get very stressed out trying to make a point. They expend a lot of energy trying to be heard. I have changed my responses to my kids from "I don't care" to an interested response. Rather than say "I don't care that you don't like that shirt!" to "I know that shirt is not your favorite, but I am telling you to wear it because..." Giving children the reason behind your choices, acknowledges that you are listening to the complaint, even if you are not budging.

          We always tell our kids to call us if they get into trouble. If we want them to believe that we will do anything to care for them,  they have to believe we care. At summer camp I have had many kids ages 11 to 19 cry on my shoulder because they believe from their perspective, that their parent doesn't care. I always try to ask what is said or done that would lead to the kid to feel this way. Sometimes it is simply what gets said incorrectly that leads to this situation. I know that it is the use of the words "I don't care!" in frustration. How would I know? Usually it is because the week before at family camp the parent is my arms crying about the drug problem, abuse, or situation, they want to help their child through. So next time the kids have you pulling out your hair, consider the direction you take with your words, because the last place you want them to be is farther away from you in their thoughts..

The Bullying Disease

My children nieces and nephews.. For them I seek the cure!

As parents we always want our kids to have a better life than we had. We pray that they will have diseases cured. We pray and hope that something unattained will be achieved, so that an accomplishment of their generation will go down in history. Yet there is one "disease" that seems to elude the realm of human cures. This disease does not give a fever or coughing. It doesn't cause your eyes to itch or burn, but it is the most painful thing that can affect ones life. It is called bullying. My own son has endured this age old illness. I have found that one of the worst symptoms of this disease, is not from the kids who taunt and tease, but from the apathy of parents who have bullies for children. Do not mistake my words, bullying is a terrible act. Any child who suffers from it has emotional consequence of some sort............ I have encountered a strange breed of children,ones who seem to be immune to the ability to bully, or at least according to their parents, this is truth. Our children are our greatest asset. Ignoring the truth about our children's behavior is a disservice to our title as "parent". If we deny that our child can ever do something wrong, we teach them that they are doing right. Children who bully as youth with no consequence, become abusive adults.


We would never sit by and watch a man beat his wife, or a woman beat her child. When this happens we feel the need to stop the action right away. As a world, we need to deal with bullying with the very same manner. Kids all over the nation are expressing their pain in adult like ways. They are using guns, drugs, and violence of many kids to let the anger they have out. This kind of condition is the only disease of humanity that is %100 preventable. People may argue that teasing is a natural thing, or that words don't really hurt, but words have driven many of our youth to violence that is unspeakable.

A woman I know called me to offer support for my son. She told me that when she was young, people called her and her brother "Cavewoman" and "Caveman". People would actually talk to her from her school about the Cave woman, and not even know that was her. I personally had been hit, kicked, choked on the school bus, and called every name new and old that meant "fat". I spent three years as an adult doing drugs to try to cope with the years of abuse I had endured. Then, I was graced with a pregnancy. It snapped me to attention that I had to come to care for myself. The labels I had built in my mind as permanent, were not mine to keep any longer because someone else was depending on me. I had to look at myself with new eyes for the life inside me, who would soon be someone else.. That someone else is now hurting.

After 7 years of intense and terrible teasing, my son had popped. He has hit rock bottom asking me what is his purpose. I stared with telling him about the healing he brought into my life. I have never made any of my bad choices a secret to my kids. I want them to learn from my life. This though is more complicated then that, it will take along time to heal these wounds. Many times healing begins when someone acknowledges the things they have done wrong. As long as children are not held accountable, they have no idea they have done wrong. If they see no wrong they have nothing to apologize for. As these kids get older, the types of things they do will mature with them. Name calling "poopoo head" grows to names that cut very deep such as "slut or whore". "Gross and yucky" grow to "worthless and stupid" It grows from there. "Harmless punching" becomes bruised eyes and cut lips. Pinching and scratching, becomes burns and cuts. It grows. As a culture There is only one sure remedy. We have to come to care about the conditions our kids are dealing with. We have to come to admit that our kids can be harmful others. Even if it seems innocent, it it in need of our immediate attention.