Soldier Stories We Can't Ignore..PTSD and Other Issues

Who They Are….

Although I am an agent of peace, I am a realist. Peace comes from the acceptance of others, and the willingness to live in harmony with one another. We know that right now we are along ways away from Peace on a worldwide level. As long as mankind must have power, wealth and glory for himself, we are in desperate need of soldiers. They are men and women who are willing to put their lives on the line, to make our land safe. At times they must go to other lands to protect us, and those who live in those nations. Soldiers are not simple minded war machines trained to kill. They are people who desire to protect their country. They are neighbors, friends, and family who have dedicated themselves to the service of the nation. They are also some of the most neglected people in the nation, when we speak of post war services.

Testimony of Injustice….

Today I sat in a room listening to two veteran soldiers, from different positions in the military. They told about where they served, what they saw, and the horrible way they were treated by our government when they came home. Both of them shared that they had a terrible time with funding promised to them for college. They also shared that many younger vets give up trying to pursue benefits, because a simple request for promised help can take years to fulfill. Paper work gets “lost” that is needed for benefits. Some of these benefits require that the solider must have an original sign up paper to receive promised benefits. Yet when that paper, which is entrusted to the military paper work office is gone, the result is “ too bad for you”.. EXCUSE ME??????? I wonder if it would have been “too bad” for us, if these men and women had no dedication to their homeland, and we were invaded and just had to take it…

The Heart Shaker…

One element of this discussion though, called me in my mind straight to my knees in prayer and sadness. It called me to write this as soon as I got home, that is the neglect of soldiers with PTSD, or post-traumatic stress disorder.  Post-traumatic stress disorder is an effect that takes place after major human trauma. This is either to the mind, body, or human environment. There are many symptoms, and they are manifested in different ways, depending on the person affected by it. Both of these men shared that symptoms began with in a few weeks of returning home.

When the simple joy of being home wears off………..

 They were so focused on getting back to family and friends that they could not really process the truth of their situation. That is, that they were both damaged by the horrible things they had seen, but had to bottle. Not all of them are traditional circumstances that cause this condition. One soldier said he saw a friend drown to death, because he was stuck in his gear. A single incident of death at home like this, would be the cause for community awareness. Friends and family of the victim would be cling together and many would get the attention they need to heal from clergy and community members. Yet after this funeral, no one was able to really speak about it They were still in the business of staying alive..  

“When in the war, you dream about being home, when at home you dream about being in the war”… (Words of the Sargent)  Both men shared that good men and women they knew, fell to drinking and drugs to cope with the pain and suffering of PTSD. They shared about the pain of having to sleep away from their own wives and loved ones until they could stop kicking and jerking in their sleep. This is at a time, when we would want to hold our spouse and comfort them. However in a dream one cannot tell the difference in a spouse’s loving touch, and the enemy..

The Dilemma of Telling  Truth, or even Knowing You Have PTSD….

So many of you are asking why don’t Military PTSD sufferers just get help??? Well the first problem is recognition of the problem itself.  When you are living it, it is hard to know that is what is happening to you. Many have to be told they have it. Second these men and women are taught to be tough, and weakness is not permitted. Telling someone you are having a problem, will move you down in the ranks of “rough and tough”. Only 2 questions are asked of returning soldiers.  They are very bland, and ask if you feel suicidal, or bad about anything… The Military had forgot to install the   “check this box” for witnessing death, pain, destruction. Being shot at, nearly blown up, and attacked at any time of day or night. Yet if you get a diagnosis of PTSD, the probability of getting a decent job is ruined by admission of the problems that result from pain, death, and destruction, so you pay for your honesty and your self-esteem takes a dive on the process.

Final Thoughts…

There are classes in place for soldiers to take when they get home. However for people who have been “family and friends” starved for months, the ability to focus on them is nil. We are foolish to believe that a few hours of training can really help a human being who has been shaken to the core of their very being. These people need a lot of counseling, and mentoring back into the civilian world. They need a partnership with their community, to give them a chance to get a good job. Today as you examine your part in Coming to Care about Soldiers, ask yourself if you can be an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on. Ask yourself if you could give your time to help a soldier recover in some way?. If these are not your skills, then please be a voice, make yourself known to the government through your local State rep and Senator, and tell them that Veteran Care has to be improved for the sake of those who protect us, and those who for that service of protection have suffered.

Stop Human Trafficking Resources

Please take note of this number, 1-888-3737-888! This number is the national Human Trafficking Hot line, and has interpreters for 170 languages. The NHTRC, has a web site that has free printable fliers in many languages. www. PolarisProject.org. Please post these in grocery stores, and other public places where people can see them. Human trafficking is a huge problem. It carries a hefty profit of 32 Billion dollars a year. There is no exceptions to race, color, gender, or religion that is exempt from this problem. Please do your part and help those who are stuck in modern slavery find a way out!

The Dangers of "Cherry Picking" in Scripture

The Damage We Do With Scripture Misuse


I admit I am no great scholar. I admit I am no great professor. What I am is angry with the way people are using my Maker's words to hurt someone else.

Have you ever seen many of the new facebook names that people are using? Some are really neat like "Jesus Daily" and "Love to Laugh" They are used to make humanity feel better about themseleves. How ever there are some that I have had it with. I have also had it with people sharing horrible messages from them that they "think" are full of wit and wisdom, from Scripture. Today I stand by less is more. I saw a page with the title "God"as the page name. It was making fun of Tim Tebow, and his taking a knee. Someone was actually using scripture to justify making fun of him for his expression of faith, and calling themselves "God"..

A word to the witty and wise. READ YOUR SCRIPTURES IN CONTEXT. As people attempt to pull one or two phrases out of a single line of text, they show just how narrow what they are saying is. I have NO respect for this kind of preaching and teaching. The Bible is not one book. It is in fact many books. It is not written in chronological order, nor is it complete. It is in fact a series of texts designed to provide the basis of the life of the One whom we should follow. The KJV was put together by the Bishops of Canterbury in 1511 to give some cohesion to the teaching of sacred study. What do you suppose people did before that time? Or was 1511 a magical year? If we use any of the words to oppress, mock, or bring ourselves above another, we have gone against what the Bible is trying to teach. I can use the words in the Gospel to prove anything I want, but I am a fool if I don't use the words in proper context. I also need to use historical facts, reason, prayer, and a slew of lenses to be sure that what I am saying is proper.

James, the brother of Christ was wise. You see he suffered from initial jealousy at having to pick up the slack that was left in his older brother's absence. James had to take care of the family, worry about Mary, for we know that Joseph has passed or was too ill sometime before, or Jesus would not have been the male head of household guest at Cana.. (no Jesus was not an only child either).. James was not a believer at first. So when he speaks, he does so out of learning through hard knocks of his own mistakes, and having front row seats to his brother's ministry.

He left some advice that we need to remember From James, Brother of Jesus
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Live Well, Live Wisely

^13-16"Do you want to be counted wise, to build a reputation for wisdom? Here's what you do: Live well, live wisely, live humbly. It's the way you live, not the way you talk, that counts. Mean-spirited ambition isn't wisdom. Boasting that you are wise isn't wisdom. Twisting the truth to make yourselves sound wise isn't wisdom. It's the furthest thing from wisdom—it's animal cunning, devilish conniving. Whenever you're trying to look better than others or get the better of others, things fall apart and everyone ends up at the others' throats.
^17-18Real wisdom, God's wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others. It is gentle and reasonable, overflowing with mercy and blessings, not hot one day and cold the next, not two-faced. You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor. " - The Message
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In closing,

Please my friends, if you see a scripture used to make a point, read before it, and read after it. Compare versions, and read various definitions when a scholar's Bible tell you there are multiple meanings. Ask yourself, what was it first saying written in Greek, Hebrew, Aramaic, or some other language from days of old? As we already know, words and their meanings change. The only thing in this life that will not, is the love of God for his human family. Before we speak on His behalf, we had better know what it is we are saying, or else we risk the credibility we have as Christians. We also are sinning ourselves, for assuming our selves level with God. We were commanded to Love him, and our neighbor, not use Him to gain our own purpose, or power over our neighbor. So now Mr. Tebow, please keep taking your knee, and thank God for the talent He has given you. Someday you will be too old to take that knee, but by then I am sure your witness will be honed in words enough, your knees won't matter..

Why I Need Them.

Why God Gave Me Peter and Shawn.

Right now I am sitting dazed about a post I read from a Christian man. It was a description of abuse that he and his partner suffered recently at the hands of a stranger. My heart breaks for him, that he and his partner to have to endure the kind of behavior people subject him too. His response, " I have more work to do". I am humbled by this. My response is an age old one. That of fury. I know a lot about my friends situation, not because we live close together, or even grew up together, but because for most of my life I have been bullied for my size. I know what it feels like to be hated for being in my own skins. Being a plus size person many people assume that I am lazy, or that I eat too much. The truth is I walk several miles each week at the rail trail, I also watch my calorie intake, and I don't have any vices. I own two businesses and work part time. I got to college full time and am keeping a 4.0 grade average. This busy doesn't even include being a wife, a mother, and a minister. I do all of these full time, and for those who wonder about ministry, no I am not paid, but everywhere I look, every thing I see, begs for the Love of God, and the Prince of  Peace. I cannot turn my mind off from the work of the church. I have tried...

What I do have is IBD, the beginning stages of Chron's disease. I have to periodicaly take steroids to keep from having my insides removed. I also take a medication for my heart that slows my metabolism down to a crawl. These things make my fantasy of being a size 10 a dream. It also makes living life very hard. People say things that are cruel like " You have such a pretty face" to me those are the words of a coward who won't say I don't like the rest of you. I also love when people casually suggest I join a gym or a fat management club of sorts as if I don't know that my body is large..

Back to my friend.. You see he is more courageous than I because I often run to my anger, rather than to the Lord. I try to work away the pain I feel, when at times I should be praying it away. A man much like my friend came to me at a time in my life when I was not sure of my purpose twenty years ago, I wondered if I could ever be loved by a man, as I was. This man took me to the movies, swimming and out for what ever. he showered me with affection and gave ferocious answers to women who were catty about him spending time with me.  Yet he would never ever ask for my hand. That was not how God created him. He was destined for the man who holds his heart. The ministry and power of his presence in my life saved me from the destruction of myself. He gave me a reason to look around this world, and see myself how God sees me. I love him to this day still, and thank God for him. My friend so far away that posted, I imagine that his ministry in the church in some way gave another person the kind of feeling. Maybe he led them to the waters of baptism, maybe he prayed for their health. Maybe he rescued some other over weight person from the depression and devastation of being alone. I don't know. What I do know is this, I will continue to look up to him for strength. I will pray for him daily that his life be blessed, because no matter what no person, no matter who they are should ever be made to suffer for who they simply are...

My Country's Father

More than Meeting and Greeting!

Coming to Care About Who and Where...

Today I took my son to his physical therapy appointment. The normally hustling and bustling office was silent. Most of the clients for the day had called in sick.. I greeted Gurcan as usual, in Turkish his native language. When James arrives he must have heat packs to warm his muscles for stretches, so the first ten minutes he is confined to a bed. Gurcan is propped on a large stretching station waiting. I told him that I had a test today about his native homeland, and the realm near by known as "NASWA", or North Africa and Western Asia. He asked me what I knew about Turkey. I told him that I knew that "Ataturk" was Mustafa Kamel. He told me about Kamel was named by another man for his wisdom, and how the people wanted him to be a king, but Kamel wanted only to be a citizen. He also told me how they gave women voting rights early on, and that people had to have last names when the new government came about. For many years people were simply the son or daughter of the parent. Much like the days of Biblical writing when Jesus was "Jesus, son of Joseph" Gurcan is nice to begin with, but as he was speaking his eyes were telling me he was somewhere in history, and that this is very important to him that I understand his history.

At this point James tells him that his back is too warm under the heat packs. Gurcan tells him : "Oh my, I guess you are cooked!" and begins his deep muscle kneading. I asked him about how he came to America. He tells me that he came with another friend, 20 years ago. He and his wife both. His friend did not stay. The more he shares, the more I can sense the Holy Spirit building, I cannot explain, but there is some kind of deeper understanding happening in this moment. I can tell that many people don't ask him, about "him." How often people assume that all medical professionals are machines. There to do a job, but not to know in person. I was so happy to have this little piece of Turkish history, and a connection to someone who really loves his patients. This is obvious to me when a little boy that he has seen since babydom, comes bursting in an asks how he is. With smiling eyes, Gurcan tells me how much he cares about that kid, and how long he has watched him grow. When his mom, a friend of mine from school days comes to get him, you can see he is sad to leave his "grown up friend".

When James first saw Gurcan two years ago, his appointments were in the morning. So I simply learned to say "Gunydan" or good morning, and "Nasilsinih" (these are not proper spellings of the exact words) Nasilsinih means "how are you?" Now James appointments are in the afternoon, and he is older so he also is learning to greet. After Gurcan shared with me his testimony, I can see something that is nearly bursting in the air. It is the crackle of knowing how important someone has just become to another. I told Gurcan about my gift of languages, and that I would stand on my head to learn Turkish. He offered me books and anything I needed to really learn this language.

I imagine that this is the foot path to peace. Two people as different as can be have a connection. I am a very generously built white female who is maybe 15 years younger than this very tall "fit as a fiddle" man who is tan always..and much wiser than I. We both know something about each other that matters, I know he will teach, he knows I will learn. These are the things that build blocks in the kingdom. I will never for get the smile on his face when he told me "My Country's Father...."

World Conference: Why you are needed!

I am thinking today about the Birthday of the church. We are in preparation as well for the 2013 World Conference. As I write this, I am looking at the picture taken of myself, and a man I called "Uncle Richard".  Richard was an organist, a piano player, and a dedicated usher to the World Conferences. He worked faithfully during the day to serve the high priest quorum that met at Stone Church. He gave up his evenings to organize the offerings for the upper level of the conference chambers.  For 22 days he would go and be of service in April for the church. The last two conferences I was his assistant, it is not an easy job finding so many people to pass out bulletins, or to carry offering baskets... I'll tell you why later.

I met Richard when I was a teenager. He was engaged to my Grandma's best friend, Wilma. One day when he was playing the piano, I asked him if we could play some hymns together, since I played flute. So many times I asked him about getting a photo with him for my scrap book. We did many duets, and many conferences together. Richard always said the time wasn't right. Before the last conference however, Richard had been battling cancer. I knew he wasn't feeling well, and he told me he had put off some treatment so he would be well enough to serve one last time. I teased Richard, and told him he couldn't leave me to deal with grandma and Wilma alone. (Even though they are without a doubt two of my favorite people.). It didn't matter. Richard told me the last day that he wanted a photo. Sister Kim took our picture, inside I was crying.

Richard became my uncle at conference in 2000. I was pregnant with my daughter Dorothy, and very uncomfortable. I sat with Richard upstairs waiting for the services to end, so that I could prop my swollen feet. I speak a few languages, and some of the people from Tahiti were asking how we knew each other. My French at the time was very rusty, and it was easier to say he was my uncle, instead of a close friend of the family, because I could not explain. A huge hole in my heart aches thinking about how Uncle Richard did so much, and next time he won't be there to sit with..

People like Richard, are needed to make our conferences a success. Richard's main qualification wasn't some degree in ushering or event planning. It came from his willingness to help his wife serve the church. She is the head usher for all of the Auditorium, where our meetings are held. She has to organize seating,  keep track of  offering baskets, seating charts, badges, bulletins and materials in many languages. The list is very long, and not even complete. For what ever reason in the minds of people they place a certain ranking on what jobs people do. For example, people seem to think that a certain priesthood office, or having one at all, gives someone more importance over another. In our faith community everyone is important, everyone has a part!. Often times when I would ask people about ushering for a section, and people would reply, "I am not a deacon, or I don't live in Independence". They had no idea that this kind of job was open to all who were able. The qualifications to usher at conference are two things, willing hands, loving hearts! For some who may think that being an Apostle or a member of the First Presidency raises them up in some way, I want you to know that Steve Veazy waited on my sister hand and foot at reunion two years ago. He mopped up spills from her five children and his wife Cathi helped carry dishes to the dish room, for many meals. Sister Stassi my Apostle, has sat in the kitchen at camp chopping onions, and celery.. she makes cornbread stuffing that is fantastic! Yes, I just said an Apostle did kitchen duty. There is no job in the church that they are above doing.  Seventys Bob Borkowski, and John Wight chopped soup veggies and laughed and smiled, while I sang goofy songs to them..They are people who may have a tremendous amount of responsibility, but they are still people.  We have to get it out of our minds that we have nothing to offer at Conferences or church events of any kind. The Temple, and Auditorium are every one's home congregation.In Community of Christ, we are a fence row community, and not a ladder. When things need to be done, if any stake in the fence is broken, the whole church feels that break. Although we have a ways of handling some processes to keep order, the work of our hands holds no ranks, or stars.

I assist Wilma because I can speak a few words in many languages now. I can't really serve in translations because my skills don't allow for it, how ever I can give simple directions, give the time, and help people find their way places in some of the languages used at Conference. Sometimes I walk five or six miles a day just to find some one or something! You too can do these things! There are so many things that need to be done that only require the willing. Teens can serve in the Youth Ministry division. Adults can work at lost and found, and as badge check helpers for business sessions.

Please. as you plan for your next year, consider the possibilty that you have a gift the conference needs! If you want to know what to do, call the Auditorium, and ask if there are positions to be filled, and know that at World Conference 2013, YOU ARE NEEDED!

Gentle Dental, Compassionate Care

This blog is dedicated to my new Dentist, Dr Misko of Caro Mi, and Dr Sohl of the Clevaland Clinic and St Mary's of Saginaw. I have been in many situations where I needed alot of medical care. I have given 10 teeth to the "tooth fairy" as an adult, and had 4 surgeries, 2 were over 3 months of a 7 month sickness. There is a certian amount of compassion involved in good medical care. Bedside manner and compassion are not always the same. My son was very sick at 2 years old, his doctor was very frank and did not comment much, however he missed a flight to Florida to make sure my son was admitted into a hospital. That was alot of compassion.. Dr Misko has the best of both worlds. I have noticed that even in the heat of an uncopperative tooth pulling, he always calls his assistants by their names. He never barks, and he does this while speaking to his patients in a very soft spoken manner.

I had a very deeply rooted incisor, that should have been a quick pull, take ten minutes. Dr. Misko kept assuring me that he was so sorry, and he always called his assistant Bree, by her name, before he asked for anything. He asked me if I needed any more numbing shots. He was worried I didn't have enough valium in my system to keep me calm. It was wearing off, but his constant assurance made it easy to just stay put. Did I mention that after being sick for so long, I have a huge fear of needles?

During my stay at Covenant health care in Saginaw, I had a doctor who was horrificly rude, he woke me up and demanded to know why I has asked for him to see me. I told him that I was told by my surgeon at another hospital, to ask for him if I had to be admitted in Saginaw. Mr. Proctologist yelled at me, and made my cry. He asked why I thought he could see me there, and not at his office. I threw my pillow at him and told him not to bother. The doctor on the floor that day came by to see why I was angry. I told her about what happened. She has plenty of great bedside manner, but was almost mocking me with her drip and drivel, speaking to me like I was a child. It made me even angrier. I didn't need a pacifier, I needed a specialist to help me quit bleeding, and get me out of bed, before I lost my mind. Then I met Dr Sohl. He is much like Dr. Misko. He was worried about my pain, and he was compassionate, but not "drippy". He spoke to his nurses with admiration. Even though I was three months healing from the operation he did, I felt that he really cared about my situation each time I went to his office. I just want to say that I appreciate doctors who care about people and thier patients, and a good doctor or dentist is priceless..