Women's Roles in Boy Scouts

                                 Community of Caring                    

              Why Women need to volunteer in Boy Scouts

     This evening I sat in a court of honor, a celebration of accomplishment and sharing in boy scouts, amazed by the things that our scouts were doing and seeing. I was moved by the camaraderie of the men, and even the few moments of tears as we said good bye in silence, to Brian Bender, our former treasurer. B.B. as his friends called him, was an active scout leader for many years, and had lost his life after a brief struggle with illness. It was amazing to see how the kids were supportive of each other, and happy for each other's accomplishments. I know that for many people the image of scout leaders has been stereotyped into these ultra woodsy people who go out camping with just a piece of fishing line and a jack knife. Visions of bug eating and roasting chunks of meat over buffalo chips come to mind, as the kids go foraging for leaves to use as toilet paper on these trips. Many people also have an incorrect idea that scouts is a " boys and men only" association. As many of you who have been in scouts know, this is not what scouting is about. It is in fact about giving young men a chance to get a well rounded education in many facets of life. While survival is certainly important, scouts learn more than just how to camp. They learn about community and respect. Scouts learn about finishing what they start through earning merit badges, and skills that it takes to be successful parents and workers as adults.Venture crews for older teens are co-ed for boys and girls alike, that offer opportunity to be involved in activities like sailing, mountain climbing, and civil war studies.

        It occurred to me this evening as I sat and listened that many women probably don't know that they have a definite place in the boy scouts program. I started my journey a year ago with Vassar troop when I signed my son up for the program. The plan was supposed to be that my husband would accompany my son to meetings and I would be a distant figure, baking cookies and driving kids sometimes. That lasted about three seconds. My husbands job is jam packed with work in the fall and winter. When I went to James' first meeting I was informed that the troop needed a chaplain. This for me was an excellent opportunity to minister in my own hometown in a way that would impact young lives. I then began attending committee meetings with two other women and I began to see the impact of active women in boy scouts. Many of the women in our scout committee had been serving for years, and they are mothers of eagle scouts. They have organized popcorn sales and fundraiser meals, and while those seem to be mostly traditional women's roles, these ladies have also done scout camps, board of reviews, merit badge counseling and many, many activities to help the boys improve their life skills. I personally have been out with the boys pounding the pavement to distribute food collection bags for the "Scouting For Food" program. This is not something that I would consider a "gendered job". I have also helped the boys place and remove several hundred flags at our cemetery to honor veterans, again this is something so important, that everyone is qualified to do.

      One reason women are needed, is the opportunity it provides for adult male leaders to display their model of respect and caring to women in leadership. I know personally that the male leaders in our troop give the highest respect to Linda, our troop secretary, along with myself and all of the moms who put hours into these activities. In a world where many video games and television teach disrespect to women, scouts teaches respect to all people. When this kind of teaching opportunity is presented in real life models, the models become habits that will last a life time. On many occasions where I see scouts at school, I often get very polite "hello Mrs. Gow" as a  greeting from the troop boys.  I know that they are aware of my presence in their troop, even though I usually only address them during prayers. On the flip side, boys also need to know that women care about their scouting experience. They need to know that being a strong male leader involves having support from females in many facets of life. Caring communities are then developed when the adults who lead them have had well rounded life experiences as youth.

           I know I'll never go camping with them in the wild, as I have sleep apnea, and cannot endure the loss of my electric lungs. I know that I cannot go for many of the outings, because my schedule doesn't allow, however what I can do is be present whenever activities do come up that I can attend. I focus on sharing my best smile with each boy, and support the direct involvement staff in whatever endeavor they need. I can also search out women who love to be outdoors, and inside with these kids. These kids need your time and experience! For the curious it should be noted that many of merit badges are not just "traditional manly" skills like shooting and fishing, but also medicine, cooking, and basket weaving. Indian lore, science studies of many kids, and several citizenship badges are available.

      Ladies, if you have had thoughts about scouting, or are looking for a community activity, boy scouts has a place for you! I urge you to contact your local Scout Master and sign up today! Questions, checkout www.scouting.org for more info..

Words of Encouragement.. Finding Hope in Commuinty

Many of you have already read this on facebook, but it is something worth repeating for this blog..

My friends,
I have been reading lately some posts that have a lot of “feeling down” stuck or hopeless themes in them. I would like to offer these words of encouragement; it is a long read so bear with me. Humanity has been subject to all kinds of situations since we came to live in community together. We know that throughout history our power to help or to harm each other has been great. There is ...

hope though for us, the answer is not easy, but it is in many ways very simple. It is the implementation that is the tough part.
I want you to back with me in time to Egypt in the days of the Pharaohs and great pyramids. Many of you know that the Hebrews, God’s people, had been enslaved and were forced to be laborers for the Pharaoh of Moses’ day. They were treated like machines and beaten with whips like cattle if they failed to do the work they were assigned. The Hebrews suffered terribly in many ways. God had chosen Moses and His brother Aaron to lead the people together, so they could be free. Moses was not a gifted speaker, studies suggest that he stuttered. Aaron, his brother however was a great speaker, but had trouble leading, and maintaining his faith at times. Together they went to Pharaoh to convey God’s desire for the freedom of his people. Ten times, maybe more or less, depending on how the story was told over generations, Pharaoh told Moses the people could leave, and then changed His mind. Can you imagine how the Hebrews must have felt? The elation at the thought of being free from slavery, and yet the pure let down and anger for Pharaoh’s broken promise when they were hauled back? How many of them were beginning to disbelieve when they were whipped and beaten even harder and the work load increased as Pharaoh poured out his anger on the people. Many of us can. It is easy to fall into despair when life patterns seem to lead to desperate situations…. Our jobs situation in the USA is bad (not enough, or too many hours, little pay ect.), our elected officials have made life in the USA very hard for poor and middle class. People who were once self-sufficient are not making ends meet. Many rich people feel powerless, as they are slaves to maintaining a lifestyle and reputation. We often feel beat down, with no end in sight.
Can you imagine how the people must have formed groups to try to preserve themselves? We know about these. When the going gets tough, the tough form a plan to not get caught in the aftermath. For the slaves it would have been ways to befriend labor bosses and Pharaoh’s overseers. For us it is often making cut throat alliances that often fall through when companies downsize. As kids people do the same thing to one another at times… you know about this. Remember the time you took the fall for someone else getting jelly on the couch? Despite all of our human quirks and tendencies to hurt each other, God has remained faithful and watchful over his people.
Going back to Egypt again, we know that the people were freed in a miraculous crossing of the river Jordan after the tenth plague was issued to Pharaoh and the Egyptians. The waters parted and Pharaoh’s army was destroyed when they sought to attack. God stayed with the Hebrew people in a powerful way for 40 years in the wilderness. He gave them food, and everything they needed to survive. God is still giving us what we need, but we cannot see it. Some of you may be asking why if God was so great and compassionate, why did the slaves spend 40 years in the dessert? The answer lays in learning.
The Hebrew people were programmed laborers who were used to taking orders. They had to spend that time in the wilderness to learn to be a community that could depend on one another, and on God. It was a time of learning that life must not be about self-preservation, but about the intricate life in community, with God at the front. They had to learn to trust that God would be there always, and how to treat each other in His midst. Moses struggled to teach the people that God was with them always. They would grow restless if not immediately gratified. (Sound familiar?) They complained about the food they were given, the provisions they had, and had forgotten they were free. Their freedom was the ultimate gift. How many of us have something we begged for, but no longer want it or care for it after we get it? Think about puppies and children, who really does the cleanup and housebreaking at week 2? Instant information and communication has made us forget that God doesn’t always instantly gratify, and that we need to consider the weight of what we are asking for.( Part of His mystery is that He often blesses us when we least expect it as well.) The people had to learn to give thanks, and be in conversation with Him in good times and bad to finally get to the promise land, and have it mean something.
So my dear friends if I can offer you anything, it is the hope that God has been with his people long before us. He is here now, and is to be after us. There is nothing that God cannot care for in your individual life, or your community, so long as you work together, and call on God often in all things. Remember that people in your community care for you as well as God, and they are ready to be a blessing to you, because God has blessed them. May your prayers be often, and your praises be the same….

The Cost of Apathy in Education

 

 

Why Not Caring Will Cost Us Everything

 

 

         Today I ventured back to the hallowed halls that were the place of my teens. As I looked back on the changes that were made, I see many changes to the building. Former locker spots are now large trophy cases. The cafeteria resembles a cafe. A large glass case houses a photo of special Vassar soldiers where the walls werre once bare. The face of one of my class mates looks back at me with pride through the glass case. I take a moment to thank him in my heart, and wish him well in heaven. While I reminisce about the dances I went to, parades I marched in, and times I waited in lunch lines for Vi's best homemade lunches, I also can tell by the atmosphere in the cafeteria, that only somethings are going well for the teachers being spoke to inside a meeting of sorts. A short applause has followed some one's closing remarks, but the chatter sounds afterwards is just not really what you would expect for a rally meeting to start a school year. It is too quiet, and very reserved. In a minute, I will know that those things I mentioned above that tug our hearts about school, may not be there for my children.

 

        As the teachers are dismissed, my children and I are stepping in to look at the lunch room set up. We bump into my son's 4th grade teacher. I can see he is in distress. I asked him if the meeting was a pep talk of sorts. He smiled, but told me it is just more bad news about the cuts and changes Vassar faces. He doesn't have to tell me how bad it is, I can see how upset and lost he is feeling. This year Vassar students are moving around because the funds and students are just not in the districts anymore. 6th grade is moving to the High school, and some T&N kids are moving over to Central. In a discussion with a teacher last year, I was told that the district numbers were down a total of over 800 students since I attended in the late eighties and mid nineties. While I understand that less students will mean less funding over all, when the funds are too little to even cover basic per student expenses we have to do something! This is not because of the school's poor management, the state is dropping funding everywhere. (Why thank you, Mr. Snyder). I know that my district has been cutting across the board to accommodate these cuts for along time. Teachers are making concessions and bus runs have been eliminated. Central has no PE teacher, regular Ed teachers take care of it, rather than have that time for planning. Is this what we want, stressed out run down teachers who feel hopeless?

 

         Where the cuts are really beginning to hurt, are in the class room. Some teachers have a student load of nearly 35 students in some grades. While this may not seem like a large number, I know first hand from leading church school  that a class of 25 can be overwhelming when some people need one on one time to be a sucessful learner. I also want to mention the many state mandates and tests that bench mark student performances such as NWEA, Dibbles and STAR all have differnt critera that have to be met. Vassar teachers take these tests seriously, and are worried about teaching all they can, without simply "cramming information" to make bench marks. I have listened to many teachers try to explain that they want things to be memorable, and not just remembered. I can't imagine being able to teach like that ,with so many "elephants in the room".  Those elephants are, people, cuts, and money. Apathetic people lead that herd, apathy from people that expect teachers to perform, but refuse to give them to tools to teach. Money is a highly necessary tool. The amazing thing is that teachers pay for their masters degrees, and get told they have nickles and dimes to prep future generations for their diploma.

 

 

           Let me ask a question, if we want our kids to have a good education, why are we not in support of our teachers who are flat out hurting? I spoke to a building Principal last year at the end of the school year, and asked how many parents are attending meetings regarding district changes, he said. "Not many, sometimes almost none." Instantly I felt terrible that my kid's teachers and staff that are on the battlefield alone. I am a parent who is a child of a life long school employee. I know that these people get involved with our kids, and impact them directly. Some students will change them forever, some of those teachers will change a student forever.  I also know that in my own busy life, I am making mistakes by not going to the meetings that the school board has, as well as public planning meetings. It is time to begin making plans to make time for our teachers, and educational partners. Even if I can't physically be present at a meeting, I need to meet with other like minded parents who are willing to go and be present.

 

            The teachers at Vassar need my help, and yours. Not standing with them is costing them all of the things that we cherished as students. All over the USA, band, art, choir, gym, home ec and enrichment programs are disappearing. Learning programs are not far behind. Vassar's story is not unique! I implore you to call our Vulcan Staff (or your home school), thank them for what they do, then ask them, "What can I do for you?.

 

                                               Yours in Community, Josie, Vassar Parent.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 



Words of Community

We
Offer
Real
Deep
Sharing!

Our
Friends,

Can
Open
Minds &
Make
Understanding
New
Intellect
That's
YOU!

_______________________________________________________________________________

The important part is that you believe it! Offer what you have, even if it seems little. Go deeper if you can. This means you care enough to ask how someone is, make a real memory with them. Introduce your friends to one another, if you are the common thread, there is already a "link" to friendship for them.  Educate those who are willing to learn, so that we may ease fears and sterotyping.. These are my words of community...

The Lost Art of Patriotism

Why We Need to Consider What We are Not Teaching..

Last Sunday, I stood with Linda a scout grandma, and BSA 201 troop secretary as we watched our troop place 300 flags at the cemetery. We were both in awe as the boys, most 11 and 12 place them at graves of soldiers. These boys were reverent, and trying hard to be like the "big boys" in the troop. I suddenly realised that I had never really spoken to my own son about flag care, and the way Americans value Old Glory.. I knew this when I saw my son set his flags aside to place one in a marker that was a bit off center. He was trying to set it straight and needed both hands. While I am a believer in being a world wide citizen, I also believe in being respectful of soldiers that give their lives for freedom in the USA. I have my freedom because of them, the gift they have given me has enabled me to establish an education, and a home. I know that patriotism is a double edged sword. If it is used to oppress people, or harm the rights we so firmly believe in, then I won't support it. Adolph Hitler used that kind of "Blind Patriotism" to nearly extinguish a nation of innocent people. Patriotism that welcomes home soldiers who fight for others safety, independence and freedom, I welcome..... Patriotism that asks us to believe in the "American Dream".. having choices in education, home ownership, and capitalism, freedom of religion (not just Christianity).. that I believe in... I realize that many of our kids have NO IDEA what this means... or why it even matters...

When I was young, it seemed that an American solider was given much more respect. People would shake hands with them, give a seat up, or smile with gratitude. Parades had a slew of soldiers from many eras. Flags flew at almost every business. Now it is viewed as fanatical to have too many stars and stripes  decorations. Sharing  too much about the war is a hush-hush thing for the men and women who come home. Many soldiers are treated as second class citizens after they come home (see my PT SD blog from April, and soldier testimonies there in).The care that our military receives after war is often poor, unregulated and many soldiers have a hard time getting jobs. Giving honor to our military should not take death, or a disfiguring wound (mental or physical) for them to have the honor they deserve. The service they give should be recognized, simply because they have done for us by serving.  When the chips are all laid out we all talk about this kind of stuff, but no one really does anything about it. I personally have no massive solution, but I am putting this out there to try to invoke attention to some one who might be able to fix this. For my own family I am trying to at least let my kids know why soldiers are important, and what it means to be an American, and a citizen in the world. I have friends in many nations who crave the freedom we have here.  I can't mail gifts to friends in some nations becasue thier mail gets opened, and they get taxed to receive it. Others I cannot visit because being a woman puts me in immediate danger. I have the right to dress and speak as I please. I can be openly critical of the the goverment if they anger me. I can elect officials if I so choose. This is not so for many of my counter parts in the world wide community....

 In coming to care about life, we need to look at the way we value freedom. We also need to think about what we are teaching our kids about respect and value for American soldiers, and America. It is easy to preach our beliefs about freedom, but we also have to teach our kids about the cost of how we obtained it. They need to know that the respect we give to others who serve us should be shown with gratitude, and reverence. Patriotism should never be blind or without meaning, it should be given out of knowledge of what someone has done for us. It should not be reserved for a particular branch of the armed forces. I know people from all faiths, races, and branches, that serve America in uniform. They have all sacrificed equally. With equal regard we should give them our thanks..







Phillip's Wisdom, Why You are Making a Diffrence

"The Office of Angel"

Today in a country funeral home, I heard a declaration that astounded me. My friend Phillip, who was delivering a message of strength, at his mother's funeral, spoke of her calling to the office of angel. While he was speaking in celestial terms, I realised that there was tremendous earthly power of the statement he made.

We live in a world that tends to be centered on comparisons. Neighbor Joe has a bigger truck, I have a bigger fence. Neighbor Jill bakes cookies for the bake sale, I'll bake a 3 tiered chocolate dream cake complete with mousse and chocolate shavings. I have to, so my cake will make more money. More is important! Right? Actually our comparisons tear away at our generoisty. It reminds us of what we want to do, rather than what we can do.

My best friend and I today were discussing Angelic generosity, after Phillip's message. The power to give when there is need as response to God's love that we were given first. All too often we obsess about how much to give. rather than use the idea that giving with gladness is what matters. I suddenly realised that we are all called to the office of Angel. The office of caring for one another though money, time and talent. The office of Angel gives time that is not restrained, fills needs that are life giving, and that builds the kingdom.

In this sense of giving money I am trying to convey, is not in tithing of percentages. I am not talking about faith promises or duties we do.While those things are essential, I am talking about those moments where there is a need and we fill it.  In my own life I have been one to put in a lot of time working for the Lord. Money has been scarce, often. People have given me and my family blessings beyond words. I have often clung to the hem of Jesus' robe to feed my family, pay my bills, and keep a home. God has given all of that plus more... someone has paid my way to travel for the church, attend camps, buy food. The list is very long.. It should be known that someone who gives $5.00 out of love, has shared equally, as someone who writes a check for $1,000,000.00. The numbers do not make something more or less Angelic, but rather the heart of the one who gives..

 The time and the money parts have equal value. My church has helped my family put in a roof, and cover serious emergencies. As time has gone by, we have been able to somewhat stabilize and give regularly, but also give spontaneously back to others along with regular giving. It is a wonderful feeling, but I still depend on the generosity of others for much.. It is an "ebb and flow"...

For the sense of  time, I speak about time that is freely given. This time doesn't always mean we are working on something significant, or even physically moving. It is time often spent listening. I have a friend Sandy, that calls me from my congregation. She calls and goes over carefully what things I share with her as concerns. She also asks about our joys. She genuinely cares. I admit I and very selfish with my time at times. I have to get things done, and I have not learned to give an "intentional listening ear" at times as I am fairly bursting with energy. But then again, it can be time spent being a doer. It can be time spent cooking, cleaning, an aiding those in need. It is a different thing for each who desires to offer what they can.. My friend I spoke of earlier, and his wife have been Angelic ministers many times over. It gives them joy to help as often as they can. They also roll up thier sleeves and get busy when the need is present. These blessings are equal in worth.

Everyone has the power to serve in Angelic ministry. It is the power that we are granted as servants, because we believe in Jesus Christ. It is the power of the Holy Spirit our Comforter that guides us in this giving. That power though, doesn't know selfish comparisons. I doesn't know giving out of guilt or self gain. That power only knows blessing. So as we come to care about our giving. As we come to care about our time, I pray that you answer the call to the office of Angel..  that you might discover the power of blessings gladly shared.



Soldier Stories We Can't Ignore..PTSD and Other Issues

Who They Are….

Although I am an agent of peace, I am a realist. Peace comes from the acceptance of others, and the willingness to live in harmony with one another. We know that right now we are along ways away from Peace on a worldwide level. As long as mankind must have power, wealth and glory for himself, we are in desperate need of soldiers. They are men and women who are willing to put their lives on the line, to make our land safe. At times they must go to other lands to protect us, and those who live in those nations. Soldiers are not simple minded war machines trained to kill. They are people who desire to protect their country. They are neighbors, friends, and family who have dedicated themselves to the service of the nation. They are also some of the most neglected people in the nation, when we speak of post war services.

Testimony of Injustice….

Today I sat in a room listening to two veteran soldiers, from different positions in the military. They told about where they served, what they saw, and the horrible way they were treated by our government when they came home. Both of them shared that they had a terrible time with funding promised to them for college. They also shared that many younger vets give up trying to pursue benefits, because a simple request for promised help can take years to fulfill. Paper work gets “lost” that is needed for benefits. Some of these benefits require that the solider must have an original sign up paper to receive promised benefits. Yet when that paper, which is entrusted to the military paper work office is gone, the result is “ too bad for you”.. EXCUSE ME??????? I wonder if it would have been “too bad” for us, if these men and women had no dedication to their homeland, and we were invaded and just had to take it…

The Heart Shaker…

One element of this discussion though, called me in my mind straight to my knees in prayer and sadness. It called me to write this as soon as I got home, that is the neglect of soldiers with PTSD, or post-traumatic stress disorder.  Post-traumatic stress disorder is an effect that takes place after major human trauma. This is either to the mind, body, or human environment. There are many symptoms, and they are manifested in different ways, depending on the person affected by it. Both of these men shared that symptoms began with in a few weeks of returning home.

When the simple joy of being home wears off………..

 They were so focused on getting back to family and friends that they could not really process the truth of their situation. That is, that they were both damaged by the horrible things they had seen, but had to bottle. Not all of them are traditional circumstances that cause this condition. One soldier said he saw a friend drown to death, because he was stuck in his gear. A single incident of death at home like this, would be the cause for community awareness. Friends and family of the victim would be cling together and many would get the attention they need to heal from clergy and community members. Yet after this funeral, no one was able to really speak about it They were still in the business of staying alive..  

“When in the war, you dream about being home, when at home you dream about being in the war”… (Words of the Sargent)  Both men shared that good men and women they knew, fell to drinking and drugs to cope with the pain and suffering of PTSD. They shared about the pain of having to sleep away from their own wives and loved ones until they could stop kicking and jerking in their sleep. This is at a time, when we would want to hold our spouse and comfort them. However in a dream one cannot tell the difference in a spouse’s loving touch, and the enemy..

The Dilemma of Telling  Truth, or even Knowing You Have PTSD….

So many of you are asking why don’t Military PTSD sufferers just get help??? Well the first problem is recognition of the problem itself.  When you are living it, it is hard to know that is what is happening to you. Many have to be told they have it. Second these men and women are taught to be tough, and weakness is not permitted. Telling someone you are having a problem, will move you down in the ranks of “rough and tough”. Only 2 questions are asked of returning soldiers.  They are very bland, and ask if you feel suicidal, or bad about anything… The Military had forgot to install the   “check this box” for witnessing death, pain, destruction. Being shot at, nearly blown up, and attacked at any time of day or night. Yet if you get a diagnosis of PTSD, the probability of getting a decent job is ruined by admission of the problems that result from pain, death, and destruction, so you pay for your honesty and your self-esteem takes a dive on the process.

Final Thoughts…

There are classes in place for soldiers to take when they get home. However for people who have been “family and friends” starved for months, the ability to focus on them is nil. We are foolish to believe that a few hours of training can really help a human being who has been shaken to the core of their very being. These people need a lot of counseling, and mentoring back into the civilian world. They need a partnership with their community, to give them a chance to get a good job. Today as you examine your part in Coming to Care about Soldiers, ask yourself if you can be an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on. Ask yourself if you could give your time to help a soldier recover in some way?. If these are not your skills, then please be a voice, make yourself known to the government through your local State rep and Senator, and tell them that Veteran Care has to be improved for the sake of those who protect us, and those who for that service of protection have suffered.